Breaking Free

Laughing, smiling, sharing experiences, and growing closer as a family sounds so enticing, especially to those coming from toxic families. Growing up on a diet of television and movies meant constant exposure to those elements. Yet, what can a young developing mind do in this scenario?

Dreaming of the perfect family, an illusion brought about by a constant barrage of films and television on an impressionable soul. Raining facades of caring families cherishing and loving one another. Failing to realize, they’re all lies fabricated in a studio built on lies and deceit. Marketing a false narrative to those suffering, hoping their families would enact positive changes.

Why can’t I have the same, they say as their tears flow. Tearing themselves apart for simply hoping they could taste an ounce of what others take for granted. Coveting a happy life, that seems to elude their grasp at every turn.

Yet, even a contemplative mind has trouble discerning these falsehoods from the truth. Caught between a vortex of emotions and the desire to belong without realizing they are powerless. As no amount of wishful thinking will ever alter the life of another, not without their distinct effort.

Falsely clinging to the idea that someone will change because of your actions only leaves you vulnerable to their machinations. Dreadfully, the list of people willing to indulge in this behavior includes family, friends, and significant others.

Inevitably, you’ll become what you hate, as you can only peer into the abyss for so long until it stares back.

Their toxicity will spread to you, and you’ll become a reflection of every negative emotion that consumes your life. An extension of those who immortalized their cruelty through you turning you into the same monster you despised.

Yet, the worst part about this scenario is not falling into the darkness. Instead, it is the realization you allowed it to happen, by keeping those people near your heart.

The fully realized circle of abuse perpetuates itself after each generation. Providing fools with the tiniest glimmer of hope and then mercilessly crushing it.

Inevitably sinking into despair as the hopelessness of the situation becomes transparent. Painfully recalling all of the sad memories of those familiars and the misery they caused.

Eventually wishing for the sweet release of death to stop you from harming your kin, without realizing there is an exit. Just like a gangrenous limb requires amputation, those “loved ones” can also be removed from your life.

Codependency, after all, is a common side-effect of this type of abuse, and it might be tempting to reach out to them. However, you must not falter. After all, what would happen if you tried to reattach that gangrenous limb to your body? Wouldn’t it continue to threaten your life?

Instead, seek inner peace, find the calm within the storm, and push yourself all the way through.

Cutting toxic people out of your life is a crucial aspect of self-development, even if they are your family. People who only demoralize you deserve no place in your heart. Feel free to eliminate them from your life.

They don’t deserve to be a part of your happiness, and you must not allow them to steal it from you.

Regardless of the importance of family, shouldn’t you be a priority to yourself? After all, loving yourself is the key to caring about others.

Spending all your energy on people who drain your spirit will inevitably leave you feeling hollow. An empty husk unable to care for even the most basic of needs without the capacity for self-care.

Self-love is an antidote to this poison, taking it in regular dosages will free you from the evil of these poisonous entities working for their selfish ends.

Your job is to cut them off, to establish boundaries and limitations that must not be crossed. Angrily, they’ll fight you, causing discord and strife. Gas-lighting you into doubting your judgment, they will ceaselessly harass you.

Eventually, outsiders will join in, demonizing your actions, attempting to guilt you into accepting their definition of love. But, don’t fall prey to their lies, if loving another means suffering, reject them.

Through each passing day, you’ll come to realize that while they might need you, the opposite is untrue. You’re not a martyr meant to suffer at the hands of others.

Nobody should have to endure the kind of emotional pain that those who are supposed to protect you can inflict.

A family is meant to help each other, yet, they’re often the ones inflicting the pain. Failing miserably at their one responsibility, they shoulder their unhappiness upon you. Forcing you to bear the burden of misery they have caused.

You aren’t a demigod sent to earth to bear the sins of others, nor are you an angel sent from the heavens, you’re a human being. Don’t suffer needlessly at the hands of others; you owe that to yourself.

Abusive families are unwilling to teach this lesson to their children, for with it, they can set themselves free.

All growth is painful, as suffering inevitably pushes you towards change, you’ll come to this realization. Don’t settle for what life has given you reach out and seek happiness. Lifespans are too short to dwell on a hopeless dream.

Set out to create some real change, find your truth, and carve your path in life. However, the only way to do this is to cut off those anchors that are weighing you down.

Set sail upon the ocean of life without letting them dissuade you.

You have a vast blue sea lying right in front of you. Seize the day and find your happiness. You only have one life, make the best of it.

Ultimately, you decide whether to embrace the poison or drink the antidote to your unhappiness.